Get scared much? I do. Especially when I’m watching AYAOTD. I’ve seen every episode a billion and a half times, and I still crap my pants everytime I watch it! It’s truly the greatest show on television.
But I wanted to take my love for AYAOTD further. So I called up everyone I know and asked them for advice. And the answer was unanimous. They said that I should write my very own script for AYAOTD!
I’d never written a script before (not true- I wrote a play once for my grandma as a Hanukah gift), but I still wanted to give it a try. And I tried my darndest- I really did! I brainstormed ideas, drew up an outline, came up with some drafts, quit, ate a box of Toaster Strudels, watched AYAOTD, crapped my pants, started all over again, and finally, after a whole mid-afternoon, had myself a polished script!
All that was left to do was mail it to Nickelodeon, so off it went. Three weeks later, I received a reply. They rejected it.
What I’m going to do next may shock you, but don’t freak out. What follows you’ll be able to read, in its entirety, my finished AYAOTD script. I figure if enough people read it and like it, they’ll all start calling and emailing Nickelodeon demanding this gets produced!
Alright, cool. Thanks in advance for this, guys- I totally appreciate it. So… without further ado…
SUBMITTED FOR THE APPROVAL OF THE MIDNIGHT SOCIETY, I CALL THIS STORY…
“THE TALE OF THE CANDYMAN’S HAUNTED HOUSE”
EXT. DARK STREET – HALLOWEEN NIGHT
Everything feels scary on this street, as a teenage boy named PAUL and a teenage girl named PENNY walk down the sidewalk. I’ve used funky Halloween colors for the fun of it!
NARRATOR: Paul’s family had just moved to town eight years ago, so he was still trying to fit in. Penny was his only friend, and although she wasn’t as adventurous as him, she tried hard to not be a loser.
PENNY: Hey Paul, it’s getting late, and I think we’ve got enough candy. Let’s go home.
PAUL: No way. Don’t be a wus. There’s still one house left.
PAUL and PENNY see the Candyman’s house on top of a hill. All the lights are flickering and there’s weird ghost sounds too.
PAUL and PENNY walk up to the front door. PAUL rings the doorbell.
PENNY: Ok, nobody’s home. Let’s leave.
PAUL turns the knob and sees that the door is open.
PENNY: Paul, no. We’re going to get in trouble.
PAUL: I’m new in town. I can’t get in trouble.
They walk inside the dark house. The door slams shut behind them. Just then, a light turns on and DR. FINK sits at an armchair.
PAUL: (unpolitely) Who are you?
DR. VINK: Who am I? Who am I? My boy, you are the ones who have broken into my house!
PENNY: We’re really sorry, sir. We were just on our way.
PENNY tugs at PAUL’s arm, trying to leave.
DR. VINK: Nonsense! Now that you’re here, you’re a welcome guest of Dr. Vink.
PAUL: Dr. Fink?
DR. VINK: That’s Vink! With a vuh, vuh, vuh! And I am NOT a nutjob.
PAUL: Whoa man, never said you were.
PENNY: I’m sorry, Dr. Vink, but we really have to go home.
Paul takes one last look at the Candyman’s house. They walk home.
INT. SCHOOL CORRIDOR – NEXT DAY
Paul and Penny are at their lockers. Paul eats a Milky Way candy bar.
NARRATOR: Paul and Penny didn’t understand what happened on Halloween night- was the headless horseman for real or not? Either way, they had to go to school because it wasn’t summer, and so they ate their candy that they had from Halloween night.
PAUL: I can’t believe how much candy we got.
Paul closes his locker. He has like a ton of chcocolate smeared on his face.
PAUL: Hey, Paul- I mean Penny- I have a crush on you.
PENNY: But what about the headless horseman?
Paul and Penny walk into their homeroom class. All the other kids are ghosts.
PAUL: Hey is there a test today?
Penny walks up to the teacher’s desk. The teacher’s chair is turned with its back facing the class.
PENNY: Ms. Pitkins?
The chair turns around and a skeleton sits in the chair. Paul and Penny really freak out.
INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
Paul and Penny scream as the skeleton teacher laughs demonically.
SKELETON TEACHER: Where’s your homework! Ahahahahahaha!
Paul and Penny scramble out of the room. They run down the hallway, stopping at a mirror that looks into another room.
Paul and Penny see verisons of themselves as old people.
PAUL: Holy schnikes! It’s us! But really old!
PENNY: Oh no! Time is speeding up! If we don’t get back inside the Candyman’s portal, we’ll never reverse the excellerated aging!
PAUL: What do we do!?
The hallway suddenly turns into a medieval dungeon. Suddenly, the Headless Horseman slashes off Paul’s arm.
PENNY: Oh no!
Paul oozes and melts with green ooze. It turns out he was a witch. Then it turns out he’s a giant, room-szied head.
PAUL: It turns out I’m the Candyman!
Penny takes a rock and throws it at the mirror.
The ceiling of the dungeon collapses on the Candyman as Penny excapes.
INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
Penny sits at her desk in school, relaxed and smiling.
NARRATOR: Penny never saw Paul again, because Paul was really the Candyman, and she killed him. But she wasn’t sad, because she wasn’t going to age prematurely. One thing was for- she would never, EVER, go trick or treating again.
The camera pans to a mirror in the classroom. The Candyman’s face appears and he laughs demonically. The trots and gallops of the Headless Horseman can be heard.
So, there you have it. I know the part where Paul’s eating the Milky Way should be changed to a Snickers bar, and in the classroom scene you have to imagine the skeleton wearing a pair of funny glasses, but all in all, I’d say it’s pretty tight. I see this as an eight part epsiode, which, would obviously require things to be trimmed down, but… I’m ok with that (I think). Oh- and the decision to make the kids age prematurely was actually inspired by another episode of AYAOTD that I saw. So I know first hand how scared you must have been reading this, just like I was when I saw that episode!
Thanks for reading! Bye!
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