Are You Afraid Of The Dark Review

Are YOU afraid of the dark??? Admit it- the clown episode, the doll house episode, the vampire episode, the pool episode- even the intro/theme song was scary! Look out- because the Midnight Society is back, as I break down season 1 through season 7 of this classic 90s Nickelodeon show!

Top Ten Super Mario Power-Ups

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Mario is a short pudgy weakling.  He runs around the Mushroom Kingdom completely vulnerable to all the enemies rushing to kill him.  The only advantage he has is his shoes.  Apparently his shoes are spiked with needles laced with cyanide, and can murder any foe who doesn’t have a spike sticking out of their head.  Now, in a world as dangerous as the Mushroom Kingdom, it would be awfully pointless for Mario to try and survive if he didn’t have a little help.  Lucky for him, there are many magical power-ups to be found to protect Mario’s fragile mortality.  So without further ado, here are the top ten Power-Ups to be found in the world of Mario.

mario_mushroom#10- The Magic Mushroom- Its the first power-up Mario ever encounters, (not counting the hammer in Donkey Kong).  The mushroom makes Mario twice his normal size, and also able to withstand a violent attack without dying.  When I was a kid, I always thought the Mushroom made Mario his normal adult self, as if his small pudgy starting point was the effect of some kind of Koopa Kurse or something.  But the reality is, the small Mario is the real Mario.  Assuming Mario has normal human height of about 5 foot 8 inches, the mushroom makes him over ten feet tall!  That in turn makes you realize that these goombas and koopa troopers are the size of regular people…scary!  The reason this mushroom is ranked low on the list is because despite its usefulness, its the most plentiful power-up, and therefore the most boring to encounter. (more…)

Fashion Week ’91

Filed under: Blog — Tags: , , , , , , — Ken @ 6:38 pm September 16, 2010

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September 11th and the Mythic Biggie Smalls

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I love Biggie Smalls.  Because I’m an intellectual white guy from Brooklyn, of course I can’t help but compare him to Bob Dylan.  Both were poets, soothsayers, shamans, uncompromising truth speakers, but more then all that, artists of endless talent.  But unlike Bob, Biggie was gunned down when he was only 24 years old.  An absolute travesty.  Biggie was a genius, and his early demise was a massive hit to youth culture.  His universal appeal,  his perfect flow, and his unflinching need to speak truth to power, could have risen him to untold heights of cultural and even political significance.  With all that said, all we are left with is a taste of his magic, a mere glimmer of his ability to effortlessly achieve these things.

I’m a New Yorker.  I happen to work right by the World Trade Center.  I’ve walked by it nearly everyday for the past 3 years.  Biggie too, was a New Yorker, one of the greatest New Yorkers ever, and on September 11th, I always think of his immortal line from “Juicy,” “Now I’m in the limelight cause I rhyme tight, time to get paid, blow up like the World Trade…”  The line of course was a reference to the 93 bombing, but given Biggie’s ability to so frequently hit the truth on insane levels of profundity, its no surprise that a throwaway line such as this would resonate so deeply years later in one of his most personal and vulnerable songs.  So here it is, on 9/11/10, Biggie’s “Juicy,” one of the greatest songs about the man, and about New York City.

Pete & Pete: The Wrigley 500

Filed under: Blog — Tags: , , , , , , , — Ken @ 5:11 pm September 7, 2010

The Golden Age of CD Technology!

Filed under: Blog,Willie Simpson — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — Willie Simpson @ 4:00 pm September 5, 2010

When I was growing up, one of my earliest memories was my parents bringing home a huge new stereo from Sony in 1989 that had a magical boxy CD player.  Today, CDs are cheap, hold low amounts of data, and are generally outdated since the advent of DVDs, Blu-Rays, and iPods.  But back then, CDs and their players were expensive, futuristic, and had that incredible rainbow glow.  Its hard to explain the awe we all felt in the golden age of CD technology, but luckily youtube has captured said awe via old technology commercials that glamorized these futuristic discs and devices…ENJOY…

VIDEO 1, Pioneer’s Incredible 6 disc CD changer.  This video is incredible.  Not only will Pioneer’s 6 disc system play your musical fantasies forever, you’ll be able to dance on neon lit pools of water with futuristic space witches!

VIDEO #2, The king of CD technology was obviously Sony, and their ads displayed the joy, spirit of community, and love that the power of CDs could bring.  Here is an especially cheesy ad that reminds us that, “Nothing captures the power of music, like a CD, and nothing unleashes it, like a Sony.”

VIDEO #3, Did you know that Hitachi’s laser bay system challenged you from distinguishing live music from recorded music in your own living room?  I can’t tell you how many times I’d wake up to the sound of music in my house and think that Pearl Jam was downstairs visiting my home, only to discover my older sister was just playing one of their CDs.   Also, the idea of having a laser bay somewhere in your home was awesome.

VIDEO #4, Of course you can’t talk about CDs, without talking about their super cousins, the CD-ROM.  CD-ROM’s finally let computers play awesome music, games, and videos.  Check out Gateway’s incredibly strange video where the world’s greatest dad bestows upon his daughter a standard rig at a budget price.  The best part comes when the girl asks the dad, “But what are you gonna use daddy?”  Of course dad then proceeds to wordlessly strut through his magical neon pink lit room filled with the most awesome gear available.

“Camp Cucamonga” Rap Video

Filed under: Blog — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , — Ken @ 5:06 pm September 1, 2010

Aside from the Stefan Urquelle episodes on Family Matters, the only other chance Jaleel White had to break free from the nerdy insanity of the Steve Urkel character, was his role in this classic, made-for-TV movie, Camp Cucamonga. And it was a good thing, too, because this movie had a certain rap song- a certian, hilarious rap song- which you can watch below…