With that blue and pink web of light in the background, these were more than just school photos- these were cool photos. And in 1991, you needed them.

For more laser background excellence, check out We Have Lasers!!!!!!!!!, a daily blog where you can submit your laser background school photos!

There was no decade quite like the 90s. Politically, economically, whatever. But nowhere was this more evident than in the music that was made during those years. In all genres, new styles rapidly emerged and evolved. Of it all, there was one genre that meant more to me than any of the others. I’m talking, of course, about rock music.

Growing up in New Jersey as a white, middle-class male, I easily identified with the ethos of rock. The rebellion, the angst, the idealism- born out of the 50s, these sentiments were still alive in the 90s, finding its form in newer and noisier ways. The stylings of 90s rock were wide ranged- grunge, britpop, pop punk, indie, rap rock- some were good, some were bad, some were forgotten to adulthood. Yet even though our tastes evolve after adolescence, the appeal of nostalgia can just be too hard to igore.

I’m calling this series “Rock By The 90s”. Each week, I plan to post a new article on a different subgenre of 90s rock, and the specific bands and songs that characterized each movement. By the end, I hope to have extensively recounted all things 90s rock.

But first, to tell the FULL story of 90s rock, we need to go back a little bit further in time. I’m talking ALL the way back…to…

The late 80s.

GLAM METAL

As the 80s came to a close, MTV had already begun to suck. No, not as badly as today- for one thing, they still played videos- but videos primarily of hair bands. Yup, in the late 80s, hair metal was the king of rock. And with it, an all-pervading, image conscious commercialism had become the status quo. Bands such as Bon Jovi, Van Halen, Motley Crue and Poison murdered our ears with sonic monstrosities, and burned our eyeballs with their high maintenance hair and flamboyant outfits.

But as the decade of the 90s began, glam metal started to be seen as excessive, both in its power ballads and its volumized hair, and the genre began to fall in to decline. Maybe the biggest indictment of this music was a scene from the documentary, ”The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years”, involving the guitarist from the band W.A.S.P., as he excessively abuses alcohol.

(Skip to 2:23 for the best part)

COLLEGE ROCK

Below the surface of the glam rock spectacle, a vibrant music scene was developing. There was a wide array of bands (college rock refers mainly to US bands) experimenting in post-punk, new wave, and folk; bands like R.E.M., The Feelies, and The Violent Femmes. This music ruled the college radio airwaves and it developed a loyal following on student campuses. United by the spirit of anti-douchiness, College Rock laid the foundations of the Alternative explosion that was about to occur.

THE PIXIES

One of the most influencial alternative bands of the late 80s was The Pixies. Stylistically, they combined the abrasive sounds of punk and hardcore with the melodic sounds of pop (a key development and attribute of grunge rock).

“Bone Machine”

You’re into Japanese fast food
And I drop you off with your Japanese lover
And you go to the beach all day
You’re so pretty when you’re unfaithful to me
You’re so pretty when you’re unfaithful to me

You’re looking like
You’ve got some sun
Your blistered lips
Have got a kiss
The days are lit like everyone
Uh-oh, Uh-oh, Uh-oh, Uh-oh

Your bones got a little machine
You’re the bone machine

MADCHESTER

As the stage was being set for the alternative explosion in the US, across the pond, the UK alternative scene had been growing as well. Bands like The Smiths cultivated the sound of gothic rock in the mid-80s. By 1988, a scene centered around Manchester bands The Stone Roses and The Happy Mondays, groups that mixed 60s pop with acid house and funk, started to take place. The “Madchester” scene can be thought of as the precursor to Britpop.

So as you can see, on both sides of the Atlantic, vibrant new music was being made. The music industry didn’t know it then, but the days of glam metal were quickly dying, and the ascension of Alternative was looming on the horizon.

Make sure to read Part II of my “Rock By The 90s” series when I revisit the Seattle grunge bands of the early 90s.

Camper has created fully functional, zoomable, 8-bit city maps in the style of the original “Legend of Zelda” video game.

The maps are entirely integrated with real world data, and you can conduct an address search just as you would on Google Maps.

On the surface, these maps may simply seem charming, but exploring the zoomable feature reveals the intricate work that was put into each and every city block. Searching through my Brooklyn neighborhood, I felt transported back to the Dutch settlements of 1600s Breukelen, where whimsical paths and brick roads replace concrete highways, and rows of crops supplant rows of houses- er…pixelated paths and crops that is.

Be sure to explore the maps! What do you think- should we stop using regular Google Maps altogether?

My parents never bought me any video game systems, but when I was six or seven years old, my family had these friends we’d visit on Long Island somewhere, and they had a Sega Master System with all the accessories, and like 100 games.  I had never seen anything like it.  Whenever we went over, it was like stepping into one of these commercials, especially because I only had access to that stuff for an hour or two.

I love this last ad, here we learn about the Master System’s amazing features like scrolling backgrounds, 64 colors (not bits), and digital sounds!  And what’s that?  Holy shit, 3d video games???  This ad is so awesome that I want all this stuff right now…in 2010!!!

As I watched these again, I thought, it’s amazing how strongly these things were encoded into my kid-memory bank. I wonder how many times my little Ken brain actually absorbed these things. 150 times each? Easily. 300 might also be a good guesstimate. 500 perhaps?  Who knows. But even though 15+ years have passed, I can still remember each of these with the clairvoyance of a psychic. Watch, and see how well you can remember them.

1. THE LOCKERS

This one has a cool, simple direction. As the camera pans across a school hallway filled with kids, we slowly see the Nick logo painted on a wall of lockers. But wait- here comes one last, little pip-squeak to slam his locker shut, and the logo lights up brilliant Nick orange. Sweet. Nickelodeon did an exceptional job of branding in those days.

2. THE GYMNIST

The intensity. The grace. The drama. When you saw this bumper, you wondered what the hell you were watching. But then she sticks the landing and leaves a magical orange footprint on the mat. Now it makes sense- Nickelodeon rules.

3. STREET THEATER

Get ready to get funky fresh with this one. I know I did the 400 times I saw it growing up. I almost signed up for a dance class one time, but my Dad stopped me. Check the comments section on the YouTube page- the composer of the song actually left a message!

4. FUNHOUSE OF DEMENTIA

This one’s like an acid trip for 8-year-olds. A dangling, singing phantom head, peope’s hands painted like faces, a fractured multi-colored room and demented Russian sound… this one’s wonderfully crazy. It’s a great example of the sheer inventiveness and whacky imagination that was springing forth from Nickelodeon’s art department during those golden days. Someone on YouTube commented that this bumper was “ugly”, but they were wrong.

5. THE FARMYARD

Not much to say here- just a really silly, enjoyable rendition of the Nick song, toy barnyard version. It’s a different kind of dementia, but equally awesome. It’s the same sense of weirdness that we saw on Nicktoons like ”Ren and Stimpy” and “Rocko’s Modern Life”.

6. DOGBONE

It’s the siesta verison of the Nick song, except it’s not naptime- it’s time to play fetch with the Nickelodeon bone. I love the spinning camera effect.

7. OPERA

Kids hate the opera! It’s only appropriate that this conductor gets his silly glasses broken by the Nickelodeon monster-woman.