George H.W. Bush Announces 2012 Presidential Run

KENNEBUNKPORT, MAINE – In a stunning announcement that is sure to shake up the 2012 race for the GOP nomination, 87 year old former President George H.W. Bush proclaimed his intention to run for President of the United States.

The former President, long considered retired since his defeat at the hands of Bill Clinton in 1992, announced his return to politics at a press conference late last Sunday Night, declaring, “America is a great land, and I once had the honor as serving as her President, now I want another crack at it.”  The news was met with bewilderment across political circles, as it is unprecedented in modern times for former Presidents to seek extra terms once already defeated.  The biggest criticism was reserved for the former President’s advanced age.  Mr. Bush was unmoved by such criticisms stating, “If I can figure out the buttons on the VCR, I sure as heck can figure out the buttons in the nuclear suitcase…That’s right… we keep the codes in a suitcase, handcuffed to an NSA man, I bet you didn’t know that…you did?…Well, I can figure them out, it involves turning keys.”

The President also faced questions regarding the wide unpopularity of his son, former President George W. Bush.  “I had nothing to do with that.  Everybody thought that when he was elected President, he’d have me in his corner if things got real bad.  Well, I wasn’t in his corner, and I didn’t help him.  Would have liked to, but he never asked.  It doesn’t matter because I disowned him years ago in the early 80s when he was a drunken fool of a boy.”  When asked about his father’s harsh and derogatory dismissal of his own presidency, George W. Bush released the following comment, “The words spoken by my father were taken in context, and therefore, were misinterpertated by the media.  My father was a great American, having fought for our freedom in World War I under his commander in chief, Ronald Reagan.”

When pressed on his agenda and issues he’d like to bring to the race for the GOP nomination, Mr. Bush said, “I’d like to draw attention to the important problems America faces, protecting Kuwait, NAFTA, and dealing with the break up of the Soviet Union.  These are pressing matters that require a prudent leader, one unafraid to lock up the Willie Horton’s of the world.”  The press conference was then abruptly ended when former First Lady Barbara Bush entered the room and quickly exited the former President off the stage.  Before leaving, she turned and admonished the press gathering, “You should all be ashamed, I don’t know who put you up to this, but my husband should not be up this hour, now go home and give us our privacy.”  Early polls released Monday morning had the former President running neck and neck with former House Speaker Newt Gingrich.

Fashion Week ’91

Filed under: Blog — Tags: , , , , , , — Ken @ 6:38 pm September 16, 2010

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Pete & Pete: The Wrigley 500

Filed under: Blog — Tags: , , , , , , , — Ken @ 5:11 pm September 7, 2010

“Camp Cucamonga” Rap Video

Filed under: Blog — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , — Ken @ 5:06 pm September 1, 2010

Aside from the Stefan Urquelle episodes on Family Matters, the only other chance Jaleel White had to break free from the nerdy insanity of the Steve Urkel character, was his role in this classic, made-for-TV movie, Camp Cucamonga. And it was a good thing, too, because this movie had a certain rap song- a certian, hilarious rap song- which you can watch below… 

1991 Compuserve Internet Commercial

Filed under: Blog — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , — Ken @ 2:56 pm August 31, 2010

If only airplanes could fly out of my computer screen again…ah, the good old days…

SNES, Pepsi, and Bo Jackson

Filed under: Blog,Willie Simpson — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , — Willie Simpson @ 8:35 pm August 18, 2010

I can’t think of 3 things form the 90s more iconic than the dazzling, 16-bit glory of the SNES, the exciting, alternative taste of Pepsi, and the bone crushing power of ultra athlete, Bo Jackson. The question is, what would happen if you put all three together? Would aliens come down to Earth?  Would the city of Atlantis rise from the watery depths?  Would Cindy Crawford’s mole fall off?  Scientists have speculated for years, but don’t you know it, a meeting DID occur between these three titans of 90s iconography, and it went a little bit like this…

Laser Background School Photos

Filed under: Blog — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Ken @ 2:04 pm

If you ever need a reminder of what makes 90s kids the coolest kids of all time, remember this: laser background school photos.

With that blue and pink web of light in the background, these were more than just school photos- these were cool photos. And in 1991, you needed them.

Laser Background School Photo

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laser5Laser Background School PhotoFor more laser background excellence, check out We Have Lasers!!!!!!!!!, a daily blog where you can submit your laser background school photos!

90s Grunge Music

Grunge-title-cardAt the dawn of the 90s, mainstream rock music was dominated by one, very 80s style

Glam metal.

Aerosmith, Poison, Bon Jovi… The hair was hideous and the songs were sucktastic.

Fortunately, those days would soon play their big power ballad in the sky.

Outside the mainstream, and unbeknownst to the music industry, the Alternative movement was gaining steam. Bands like The Pixies and Sonic Youth combined elements of pop, punk, and metal to create an experimental new sound.

Then, in 1991, this new sound would crystallize around one band (and later, the bands of one city), knocking down the walls of the music industry and ushering in the era of grunge rock.

SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT

In a dark, mood-lit gym, apathetic cheerleaders led the student body in an alternatingly quiet then loud rock number.

Load up on guns / And bring your friends / It’s fun to lose / And to pretend

The teenage crowd erupts, sending the gym into chaos, as the janitor merrily dances along with his mop.

It was an anthem for Generation X; Nirvana’s breakthrough single, “Smells Like Teen Spirit”.

Thanks to heavy rotation on MTV, “Smells Like Teen Spirit” became wildly popular, and by January 1992, Nirvana’s debut album, Nevermind, took the #1 spot on the Billboard albums chart. (more…)

Hotel Mario: The YouTube Phenomenon

Hotel Mario was an interactive puzzle game developed for the CD-i console in 1994. An otherwise forgettable title, it included corny, animated cut scenes, one of which (the intro) has spawned a strange trend of remakes among the YouTube community.

Check out the original, then the acid trip madness of the spin-offs.

90s Horace Grant Mix

Filed under: Blog — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , — Ken @ 11:52 am July 28, 2010

Though never a bandwagon Bulls fan like everyone else in the 90s, there was a definite aura that surrounded the best team in basketball. Everyone wanted to ”Be Like Mike”, but I said they should “toggle the goggles”- Horace Grant’s goggles.

Check out some classic plays by “Goggles” below. 

  

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