So a few weeks ago, I took it upon myself to go on eBay and purchase a Tiger Talkboy. I couldn’t wait to pull some classic pranks like hiding behind the couch while my asshole friend was on a date, and playing secret messages like, “Hey man, did you fart?” or “Oh man, smells like a fart!” That would put him in his place.
So the other day, I finally received my package, but something was wrong. First off, the box was bright pink and covered in magic pony stickers. Second, it smelled like day-glo and Easy Bake Oven Cookies. Anyway, I tore it all open, and what did I find? Not a Talkboy- oh no, sir- but a Talkgirl! What the hell?!?! eBay screwed me again.
You know how Talkboy slows down your voice to make you sound like a real man?Well, Talkgirl speeds up your voice to make you sound like a prissy 15-year-old girl. But when I gave it some thought, I realized this would actually work better since I already had a man’s voice.
“This is gonna be good!” I said to myself.
Oh, how wrong I was.
Cut to last Friday- the scene of my asshole friend’s big date. There I was, hiding behind the couch, waiting for my moment. Finally, he went in to make his move. My finger, sweaty from the anticipation, pressed down on the play button, and the fun began.
“Hey asshole, did you fart?” complained a phantom teenage girl. (more…)