I think a lot of people would agree that part of what made “The Adventures of Pete & Pete” so great was the dreamy, alternarock soundtrack performed by the indie-rock band Polaris. The theme song, ”Hey Sandy”, was like a sweet, oozy dream syrup dripping into the happy glands of Generation Y’s collective brain sponge.

With the lush, green, suburban backdrop, this made for a completely unforgettable opening to one of the best kids show of all-time.

But to the naked ear, it’s impossible to decipher the lyrics to this song!

Well, thanks to the Internet, I was able to find a transcription:

HEY SANDY

Hey smilin’ strange
You’re lookin’ happily deranged
Could you settle to shoot me?
Or have you picked your target yet?

Hey Sandy
Don’t you talk back,
Hey Sandy

Four feet away
End of speech, it’s the end of the day
We was only funnin’
But guiltily I thought you had it comin’

Hey Sandy
Don’t you talk back,
Hey Sandy

Ohhhh-kayyyy… So that’s how it goes? The “Pete and Pete” theme song is a pre-Columbine ode to slacker violence?

“We was only “funnin’?”

No offence, Polaris, but this song is fucking stupid.

Was there ever a Kids TV show more magical, more subversive, and more fun than “The Adventures of Pete and Pete”? You wish, you blowhole! Just find a seat on the big orange couch- it’s time for The Nickelodeon Kid!